The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper


A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.

It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! OK! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies,"He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

It yesterday looked like we might finally get some snow from a large cell headed this way. Bypassed us again! :clapping:Came up thru south central Kansas (unfettered's area) stayed west of us and kept going on into Nebraska. we got dusted and rained on overnight but they say there's still a chance for today/tonight, like 80% worth! I guess about 75 miles west of us got 4" tho, they can keep it! Hopin Unfettered and 80AspenRT didn't get hammered too hard but the radar yesterday around them looked pretty hateful. I'm not cussin the rain, we need it bad!

The Spoon
　
A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an
organization...

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and
noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt
pocket.
It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and
utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis,
they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.
It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per
hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of
trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to
replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the
kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had
the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked
the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string
right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save
time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what,
we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our
hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
"After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the
spoon."