Author Archive
Jan
21
Garden of Eden, B.E, Before Eve
Posted by: | CommentsAdam has quite a time in the garden of Eden, but has become restless.
One day he says "GOD? Are you there?" "Yes my son" comes the reply from above.
"GOD, I love it here, but I'm kind of lonely. Is there anything you can do?"
GOD replies, "Adam, I can create woman for you."
Adam says "What is that?"
GOD says " She is you, but different. She will be your friend, your lover, your confidante. She will complete you. And together, the two of you will become one."
Adam thinks for a moment, and this sounds good. "GOD, I would like this woman. May I have one?"
GOD replies "Yes Adam, you may have one, but she comes with a cost".
"A cost" Adam says. "What is this Cost?"
"The cost is your arm" says GOD.
Adam thinks for a moment, then asks GOD, "What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history!
One day he says "GOD? Are you there?" "Yes my son" comes the reply from above.
"GOD, I love it here, but I'm kind of lonely. Is there anything you can do?"
GOD replies, "Adam, I can create woman for you."
Adam says "What is that?"
GOD says " She is you, but different. She will be your friend, your lover, your confidante. She will complete you. And together, the two of you will become one."
Adam thinks for a moment, and this sounds good. "GOD, I would like this woman. May I have one?"
GOD replies "Yes Adam, you may have one, but she comes with a cost".
"A cost" Adam says. "What is this Cost?"
"The cost is your arm" says GOD.
Adam thinks for a moment, then asks GOD, "What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history!
Aug
27
Priest and the Rabbi DON’T READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!
Posted by: | CommentsA Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street on the way to an "Interfaith" luncheon. In front of them is a handsome 10 year old boy. The Priest says "I'd like to screw him!" The Rabbi says "Out of what?"
Aug
23
Ram 4×4 front wheel bearing, AGAIN!
Posted by: | CommentsOkay, 95 Ram 4x4, 5.2L, 1500. Front right wheel bearing, AGAIN!!!! The truck has 263,000 miles on it. Lost the first right one at 120k, second [timken]190k, third [Duracrap!]263k! Similar story for the left side. Thought I'd get more out of the Timken than the Dura-Crap! Only used the dura-crap brand cause I thought "how much longer will this truck last anyways?" I've nick-named the truck Lazarus, because I keep bringing it back from the DEAD! So, since the truck refuses to die, and I have a new motor for it. [I mentioned in a previous post that due to a head gasket leak, it has been running a 50/50 mix of oil and coolant in the oilpan for the last 100k miles!} The question IS....What wheel bearing do I use for it!!! I see bitches on the web about bearings, but no answers! Is there a fix? Does anyone make a good product, or are they all shite?
Nov
27
OBD II scanners, what works?
Posted by: | CommentsHi guys! Turns out I'm starting to do more work on the newer cars for others than I am on my RR. I'm to the point where I can justify the purchase of a professional OBD II scanner. We tried the auto-zone freebie shit, but it just doesnt dig deep enough into the manufacturer codes. Damn near everything is an O2 fault! And we KNOW that aint true! I'm not looking for any Snap-On stuff, just a competent unit for a few hundred dollars. Would like something that could get to mopar transmission codes also. While I'm on the subject, anyone have any suggestions for reading ABS faults on an OBDII car? Thanks everyone!
Nov
25
Detroit Joke
Posted by: | Comments*
Detroit Jokes
This happened on a flight ready to depart for Detroit .
Jack was sitting when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an
Emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear. "What's the matter?"
Jack asked.
"I've been transferred to Detroit , there's crazy people there. They have a
Lot of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the
Highest crime rate."
Jack replied, "I've lived in Detroit all my life. It's not as bad as the
media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business and enroll
Your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the
World."
The guy finally relaxed and said, "Thank you. I've been worried to death,
But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. By the
Way, what do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."
Detroit Jokes
This happened on a flight ready to depart for Detroit .
Jack was sitting when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an
Emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear. "What's the matter?"
Jack asked.
"I've been transferred to Detroit , there's crazy people there. They have a
Lot of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the
Highest crime rate."
Jack replied, "I've lived in Detroit all my life. It's not as bad as the
media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business and enroll
Your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the
World."
The guy finally relaxed and said, "Thank you. I've been worried to death,
But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. By the
Way, what do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."
Nov
13
finally DONE!
Posted by: | CommentsI picked up a 99 Cirrus in great shape with 93k on it in July for $500. Loaded, leather, sunroof, great body and interior. The PO thought it had a miss in it and installed 3 computers [still have them], new distributor [thank you], new crank position sensor [thank you again!]. He then figured that it must have jumped time [started on timing belt change]. Found out he was over his head and threw too much money at it. He let it sit, so shit [leaves and twigs] got into the intake. I tore the heads off, lapped valves, re-sealed the valve guides, and re-assembled. Replaced timing belt and water pump. Still didnt start. The PO didn't set the CPS at the right depth to read the crank! Now a killer commuter car that I can get another 100k out of! Dont overlook these JA [Cloud-cars] as good commuter vehicles. I have 238K on my other one with no engine issues. The 2.5 V6 is a great motor.
Oct
29
Reprieve from the Governor!
Posted by: | CommentsHi guys! As some of you know, I work at the Chrysler Sterling Heights Assembly Plant. "SHAP" We've been the home of the P-cars, Cloud-cars [JA-bodies], JR [2001-2007]Sebrings and Stratus's, and now the JS's [Sebring-Avengers]. No lie, last year was bleak for all of us. Those in, and outside the industry. It was announced, last spring, our plant would be closed for good in the spring of 2010. The UAW locals and the local politicians staged rallies. We had UAW brothers and sisters come from Toledo and St. Louis on chartered buses to support us and our plant! [BTW, St. Louis was to be, and DID close] The result was a stay-of-execution till 2012.
Well, a year later, God has smiled upon us! We are now in the middle of an "update" for our Avengers and Sebrings. [cant say too much] Chrysler has announced this week they are investing around $850 million to update our plant and replace our out-dated paint shop! Also with the eye towards adding an additional body line. Our paint shop was built in the early 80's by Volkswagon to build their cars here, so the size and dimensions of certain components limited us to making vehicles of a certain size. The cost of a paint facility can easily be in the $500-650 million range.
This is great news to all of us, and our region! We have 1500 employees, and plan to add a second shift with 900 more in the next year.
Some of you may say "big deal", but if you saw the economic devastation that has gone on in the area over the last few years, you might even feel sympathy towards some of us "lazy auto workers". Whenever the economy catches a cold, Detroit gets pneumonia!
Anyways, I just wanted to share some good news that affects not just me and my brothers and sisters. But something that affects tens of thousands of families in my state that do business with us, and rely on our jobs for their jobs.
Well, a year later, God has smiled upon us! We are now in the middle of an "update" for our Avengers and Sebrings. [cant say too much] Chrysler has announced this week they are investing around $850 million to update our plant and replace our out-dated paint shop! Also with the eye towards adding an additional body line. Our paint shop was built in the early 80's by Volkswagon to build their cars here, so the size and dimensions of certain components limited us to making vehicles of a certain size. The cost of a paint facility can easily be in the $500-650 million range.
This is great news to all of us, and our region! We have 1500 employees, and plan to add a second shift with 900 more in the next year.
Some of you may say "big deal", but if you saw the economic devastation that has gone on in the area over the last few years, you might even feel sympathy towards some of us "lazy auto workers". Whenever the economy catches a cold, Detroit gets pneumonia!
Anyways, I just wanted to share some good news that affects not just me and my brothers and sisters. But something that affects tens of thousands of families in my state that do business with us, and rely on our jobs for their jobs.
