A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every
once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a
statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'

'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped

Just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand.
Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would
you like a drink?'

'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.

'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig
leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
Free your mind from worries - Most "worries" actually never happen.
Live simply and appreciate what you have.
Give more.
Expect less.

NOW, enough of that crap. The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your rear, it always comes back to bite you.